Today is August 15, 2009. I’ve officially been a Catholic for two years and four months. The reason I mention this fact is because it has taken me this long to begin to have an inkling of my vocation. That is, what is God calling me to? The word vocation comes from the Latin voce, to call, from which we also get the word voice. So, what does this have to do with anything?
Well, let me tell you! The title of my blog is significant, insomuch as this is the guiding principal of my life and therefore of my vocational discernment as a young Catholic man and convert to the faith. Totus Tuus was a favorite motto or saying of Pope John Paul II’s. It means “completely yours”, or “all yours”, in reference to God. In other words, I am completely God’s and each day as I awake anew I give myself over to God in the spirit of the Third Step Prayer of Alcoholic’s Anonymous:
God, I offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, thy love and thy way of life. May I do thy will always, amen.
Each day as I am faithful to pray this prayer, on my knees, God shows me how I can be of service to others. And after all, is this not the vocation that He has called us all to? To love thy neighbor as thyself? Indeed, it is the second greatest commandment, as spoken by Jesus in the Gospels. But, let us not, myself included, forget the first greatest commandment, to love the Lord thy God, with all thy heart, all thy soul, all thy strength and all thy mind. In this way, I am all God’s. Even as I am an imperfect vessel of His love and grace, He is faithful to nourish me through the sacraments of Reconciliation and Holy Communion. And as I go to Mass, I am formed and confirmed in my faith by the words of Scripture, the words of the priest or deacon in his homily, by the Nicene Creed, the prayers of the faithful and finally I am joined together in deep communion and love with Christ and His Church through the Holy Eucharist. Indeed, this is a beautiful thing.
Finally, I have only learned through long and patient process, to trust the process and to trust the Creator of the process. As I am faithful to this calling, He reveals to me each day a little bit more of the plans He has for me and for my life. Right now I am laying a foundation, with His help and guiding hand, for the rest of my life. As my dear father reminded me, I must wait for the concrete to dry on the first layer, before I add another. So, I am patient. But, I am also very hopeful, though at moments impatient, that He who has begun a good work in me will carry it on to completion. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11,
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”
May it be so, amen.
Totus Tuus 